


Denial

by Ptic



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Before Dragonpit, F/M, First Kiss, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, ignoring 7x6, ignoring Cersei's pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-19 02:25:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11887941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ptic/pseuds/Ptic
Summary: Jaime meets Brienne in secret before the Dragonpit meeting to warn her. The next day they unexpectedly meet again... in the Red Keep. Jaime has a tough choice to make.





	Denial

** BRIENNE **

The hooting of an owl was the only sound in the cold night. She sat waiting, breathing into her hands for warmth. When she heard a branch snap, she jumped up quietly, a warrior’s reflex. There he was, smaller somehow than the last time she saw him. More like the man who bared himself before her in Harrenhal. He was dressed in a dark cloak, his handsome face hidden by the hood.  

Ser Jaime had managed to get a message for her to Podrick. When she saw the scrawling handwriting, she knew it was Jaime’s note. He wanted to meet her at midnight in the woods outside of the city.

“Hello Brienne” he said. 

How incredibly weary he sounded. 

“Ser Jaime…” she greeted awkwardly, not knowing how to speak to this broken man. 

“Please forgive the secrecy and the late hour. It’s not safe for us to meet in public”, Jaime said. 

“Your sister?” asked Brienne.

Jaime nodded. “Let’s just say she wouldn’t be too keen on me fraternising with the enemy.”

“Is that what I am to you? We came here to discuss a truce. To join forces for the greater good.”

“You’re wasting your breath”, Jaime sighed. “You’re not safe here, you should get out of the city before…”

“There is an enemy north of the wall that will end us all if we don’t band together and fight. Jaime, the army of the dead is real, I swear it. We brought evidence. Surely the Queen will see reason once-“

Jaime laughed bitterly. “The only thing she sees is a way to get rid of her enemies at once.”

Brienne had seen Jaime like this before when he lost his hand and with it his will to live. His bitterness frightened her.  

“If we don’t fight together, we all lose. Do you believe me?” 

She could see his eyes softening in the moonlight in the black under his hood as he stepped forward. “I believe you, Brienne… but it doesn’t matter. She doesn’t listen to me anymore. Maybe she never did.”

His hopelessness softened her heart. “Jaime, I know how you feel about your sister-“

“Do you?”, Jaime asked, the hard glint in his eyes back. 

Brienne ignored him. “You must talk to her, convince her this threat is real and-” 

“She believes it’s real.”

Brienne was momentarily stunned. 

Jaime continued. “She wants that army of the dead to take out her enemies in the north”. 

A tactic this coldhearted had not occurred to Brienne. It made her angry that Jaime loved this woman. _Not anger, it’s jealousy_ , she realised.

“And yet you remain loyal to her?”

He turned away from her and stood silently, his breath the only movement. Even as a dark shape in the moonlight he was a sight to behold. 

“Brienne, will you speak to Jon Snow for me? Tell him I wish to meet with him here an hour after dawn. I must warn him.”

“I will speak to him.” 

The owl hooted and the seconds stretched. _Jaime was right. We don’t get to choose whom we love._ She sighed and placed a hand hesitantly on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken of loyalty. You came here to warn us and I thank you for it.”

“Is that why I came?” he asked without turning to face her.

Again she ignored his quizzical remark. “Word had reached Winterfell about the battle against Daenarys Targaryen. They said you’d died.”

“Perhaps it would have been better if I did” Jaime said blankly. 

She turned him to face her and squeezed his shoulder, wanting him to understand how much she meant her words. “I’m glad you’re alive.” She placed her other hand on her sword. “I named Oathkeeper after you… because I know your honour… I have faith in you, Ser Jaime.” 

Jaime stared at her silently, then took her hand off his shoulder. He kissed her rough knuckles. He didn’t let go of her hand, seemingly savouring her touch. 

“You’re warm”, he mused, then looked up into her eyes. 

Jaime closed the distance and gently pressed his lips to hers and slid his arm around her waist. She immediately raised her arms, as if she were defending herself from an attack, stunned. She tried to push against his chest, but the heat blossoming in her core drained the strength from her arms. 

He pulled back, eyes wide as if he had surprised even himself. Then he kissed her again, deeper, and her body felt boneless, a liquid fire. She opened her mouth for him, buried her hand in his hair. When their kiss ended, they stared at each other, breath coming heavy, for what felt like an eternity. 

“Why did you do that?” Brienne asked in a trembling voice. 

Jaime dropped his gaze and turned away from her.

“I want you as far away from King’s Landing as possible. Please leave the city after you’ve spoken to Jon Snow”, he said, and left quickly, leaving her shaking and confused.

 

* * *

 

** JAIME **

Jaime had wandered aimlessly after his meeting with Brienne, lost in thought. When he finally fell asleep, he was plagued by the ghosts of his past. 

He awoke to the sound of knocking. His door was opened by two members of the Queen’s guard. Cersei had summoned him to her chambers. Their attitudes told him clearly that refusal was futile. He knew that Cersei enjoyed this little power play.

_She looks like a spider in her web_ , was his first thought when he saw her standing at attention in the middle of her chamber. She looked regal, formidable and deadly. He approached warily. 

“Good morning…” he said. 

“How was your night, brother? Did you sleep well?” she asked with a sweet smile on her face. 

Her smile set his teeth on edge. “As well as can be expected under the circumstances.” 

She nodded and moved to the table to pour herself a glass of wine. 

 “Isn’t it a bit early for wine, Cersei?”

“It’s looking to be an… interesting morning”, she said quizzically, raising her glass. 

“You know, I can’t remember a day going by without father reminding us in one way or another to never betray our House. And yet, it seems I was the only one paying attention. Tyrion killed father, with your gracious assistance”, she added mockingly, “and you…” she moved to the desk and fingered an ornate hand bell. 

“I told you never to betray me again”, she said. 

Jaime stood still, trying to keep a straight face, waiting to hear how much she knew about his midnight venture.

She rang the bell and the Mountain appeared at the door pushing someone in chains. From the height and clothing Jaime could see this could only be Brienne. 

 

* * *

 

** BRIENNE **

The bright light in the Queen’s chambers hit Brienne’s eyes like a needle when the bag was removed from head. Her brain felt several sizes too large and her cheek felt like it was about to explode. When she adjusted to the light she saw Jaime, so different from the man she had kissed only hours before, and his sister, immaculate and cold as if she was carved from stone. 

After Jaime left her in the woods, she was knocked on the head from behind and woke up in a damp cell, bruised and battered. Cold fear knifed her heart when she realised she had walked into a trap.

The impossibly large guard that brought her in squeezed her neck painfully, forcing her to her knees.

The Queen was watching Jaime intently. “Did you really think you could go behind my back to meetwith her? I never guessed you would betray me with such an ugly, shambling thing.”

“And so you hurt her just to spite me? It’s me you want to hurt, let her go”, Jaime said. 

Even though she was the topic of their conversation, Brienne felt like she was on the outside looking in. She had never seen Jaime and his sister together. They looked so golden, so perfect, like two very different sides of the same coin. 

“What did you tell her, dear brother, during your little tryst in the woods?”

 “Cersei, we can discuss this in private. Let her go, she has done nothing to merit this. I asked her to meet me.”

“She will stay right here to be judged for conspiring against the crown.” Cersei said with a glint of satisfaction in her eyes, watching her brother. “Now tell me what you discussed with her”.

_She means to use me to make Jaime suffer._ Brienne knew very well that Jaime at least cared for her, he had treated her honourably ever since Harrenhal. And when he kissed her, she felt like the heat was maybe forging another kind of bond between them… 

Still, she could barely believe that she was now a pawn in whatever twisted game the Queen was playing with the man that loved her. Her heart sank when she realised she was a fly in Cersei’s web, likely never to leave this miserable city again. _Another failure…_

Jaime said nothing. He looked at Brienne, asking her silently to stay quiet. 

One nod from the Queen and her breath was knocked from her body. She crumbled to the ground, gasping for air. _If my ribs weren’t broken before, they are now_ , she thought absently. Brienne had been hurt before, with fists, swords and words. She would not lie meekly on the ground like a wounded animal. Brienne got back to her feet, awkwardly, for her wrists were bound behind her back, and stood tall, chin high. The guard with the soulless eyes raised his arm to strike her again. 

“Enough, Cersei!” Jaime shouted. Then he looked her way and said quietly “I’m sorry, Brienne”.

He turned back to his sister. “I asked her to arrange a private meeting with Jon Snow, to take him prisoner. I knew that I would never get the King in the North to meet with me alone, so I used Brienne to lure him, knowing I could count on her to convince Snow.”

Cersei looked doubtful and genuinely hurt for the first time, her face twisted with reproach. “You kissed her…”

She couldn’t see Jaime’s face as he spoke to his sister confidentially. “Lady Brienne was hesitant to arrange the meeting. I knew she developed an… infatuation with me when she returned me to King’s Landing… I did what I had to to convince her, just as you dangled your carrot in front of that dirty Greyjoy pirate to get what you wanted.”

Brienne felt like she was punched in the gut again. _It was all a ruse… He used me. A big ugly wench yearning for love. He had me figured out way back on the road to King’s Landing._ She hadn’t felt this humiliated since Red Ronnet Connington threw his rose at her feet. But she would be damned if she would bow her head in shame. Desperately she tried to think of Tarth’s sapphire waters, her father’s smile, anything to not have to take in what Jaime was saying. 

The queen watched her embarrassment with a bitter glee, drinking it in like wine.

Cersei continued to accuse her twin. “She was found with what looked like a _Lannister_ sword-“

Jaime interrupted her. “Do you honestly think I could ever leave you… my golden twin, the other half of me?” he asked with a strange kind of wonder. He walked towards his sister, blocking her from Brienne’s view. All she heard was Jaime’s voice, like a knife in the heart, as he raised his hand to caress Cersei’s cheek. 

 “We may fight and struggle, we may walk away from each other, but we _always_ come back to each other… Because you and I are the only people who matter, Cersei. I am yours and you are mine.” He embraced his twin, who looked satisfied, her chin resting on Jaime’s shoulder. 

“Let’s send Lady Brienne back to her cell until we figure out what to do from here”, Jaime said, barely audible. “Until we decide on a course of action, we can’t risk angering the north further by harming the sworn sword of the Lady of Winterfell.”

They ended their embrace and Cersei looked her way, a triumphant smile on her face.

“Ser Gregor, please take the Lady Brienne back to her cell.”

 

* * *

 

**JAIME**

  
Jaime and Bronn raced down the stairs looking for Qyburn’s domain, all the while seeing Brienne’s face as he broke her heart. A sight that would stay with him forever. When he saw Cersei’s expression of barely concealed joy as Brienne was dragged, bruised and bloody, into her chambers, it was like a dark veil was lifted from his eyes. He saw Cersei for what she really was; not his lovely sister, but the mad, power-hungry woman she had become… Or maybe always had been. 

Cersei had done unspeakable things, as had he, but Jaime had always acted out of love, an instinct to protect. Cersei knew that Brienne was the only person other than Tyrion that cared for him, so she had Brienne beaten out of sheer spite, to hurt him. Jaime felt the cold realisation then that Cersei would execute Brienne right in front of his eyes, and that his sister would _enjoy_ this. _Olenna was right, Cersei is a disease._

His heart turned cold as he looked at the woman he thought he loved. The lies he told felt like ashes in his mouth as he looked at Brienne’s proud face, eyes glazing over as he humiliated her. _She went away inside, just like I told her to do all those years ago. That’s my girl_ , he thought bitterly. 

He found Qyburn in a strange, dark room that smelled of blood and bile and made him feel deeply uneasy. _What does that vile little man do down here?_

Jaime grabbed him by his robe and lifted him with one hand, banging his head against the wall. 

“Take me to her cell and open the door or we’ll do some experimenting of our own on you” he growled.

Qyburn didn’t need to ask whom Jaime meant. He scrambled for his keys, started walking and opened Brienne’s cell. For all his cruelty, the man was a coward. Bronn knocked Qyburn unconscious and dragged him into the cell.

Brienne sat against the wall, knees drawn up to her chest, looking more like a little girl than a fearsome warrior. Her beautiful blue eyes showed the wounds he had inflicted with his cutting lies. She looked at Jaime warily. 

He went down on his knees to embrace her, trying to undo the damage he had done. She turned away from him.

“Haven’t you humiliated me enough? Do you enjoy-“

He silenced her with an brief, urgent kiss. Her lips were unyielding, so unlike their first kiss, when she had opened herself to him and shaken him to the core.

“Please shut up and listen to me, there’s no time.” Jaime started undoing her chains. “King’s Landing will be attacked by the Dragon Queen soon, Tyrion has given me warning. We must leave, now.”

“We?” Brienne asked as Jaime led her from the cell. Bronn locked the door behind him. 

“Bronn will escort you back to the Stark camp.” Jaime helped her up the stairs and took a moment to caress Brienne’s swollen cheek. “I must make arrangements, but I promise you by all I hold dear that I will follow you north with the remainder of my army."

“I don’t understand… your sister-“ 

“Cersei are I are done. I’ve left her in her chambers for the Dragon Queen to deal with” he said, shaking his head. When they reached a narrow hallway, it was time for them to part ways.  

“Please forgive me for what I said, what I had to say… She would have killed you right in front of me if she knew that I care for you. you _know_ me, Brienne… please believe me.”

Brienne levelled him with her eyes. “I believe you”, she said. 

He felt a weight lifted off his chest then. He took a deep, cleansing breath. Despite everything, the most beautiful person he’d ever met still believed in him. He knew then he would crawl through snow and mud all the way to Winterfell to see her again.  

He kissed her once more, trying to imprint the feel and taste of her on his lips for the cold times ahead until they met again. Her hand timidly cupped his cheek as their kiss ended. 

As Jaime turned around and marched out of King’s Landing for what he knew would be the last time, he felt something he hadn’t felt since he first sent Brienne away on her quest to redeem his honour; hope. Hope that he could become a better man, the kind of man that would deserve Brienne. 

**Author's Note:**

> As I was thinking of how the season 7 finale would go down, I got the idea for this fic. I do imagine paranoid Cersei was foreshadowing something when she said 'I know everything that goes on in this city' and would totally have Jaime followed. With that in mind, I saw a situation like this developing. I know it's angsty, that's my thing, but I hope it left you feeling as hopeful as Jaime for their future. 
> 
> What do you think will happen next week?


End file.
